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5 Ways Depression Made Me My Best Self

5 Ways Depression Made Me My Best Self

I've accepted that I'll never be the person I was before depression. This experience was like going on an unplanned expedition — climbing up treacherous mountains, hanging from a ledge grasping for dear life, and hiding from all of the dangerous monsters that prey at night. I was just trying to survive. There were times when I doubted my ability to keep moving forward and there were times where I was just too exhausted to try. I made it through the journey, though, and it's irrevocably changed who I am.
Initially, this — fully accepting the idea I wasn't the lighthearted, carefree version of myself before depression — was a hard pill to swallow. Change is scary, but it doesn't have to be a negative thing. Depression took a hold of me and it tried to rob me of my joy, my confidence, and my sense of self, but it didn't. Instead, it unlocked parts of me I never had the courage to explore. Here's how depression made me my best self.

1. I'm Honest With Myself

When I first experienced symptoms of depression, I didn't want to admit it was happening. Both my mind and body were screaming at me to pay attention, but I ignored the signs. Doing this, though, meant I denied myself the help I needed sooner. By the time I finally owned up to my depression, I had been suffering in silence for so long that I had gotten to the point of hopelessness. Because I wasn't honest with myself, I also wasn't honest with the people in my life who loved me and wanted to support me. Now, I know I'll never make that mistake again. As soon as I notice something doesn't feel right, if I feel that same sadness or anxiety, I own it and I talk about it. Instead of denying or internalizing those feelings, I immediately work on dealing with them.

2. I'm More Empathetic

It's easy to make a snap judgment about someone before you get to know them. It's also easy to look at someone through the lens of social media and formulate your own idea of who they are or where they are in their life. And let me tell you, those assumptions don't do you any good. When I was depressed, social media only made it worse. I was comparing myself to everyone else posting pictures of themselves seemingly happy that made me think "I wish I had their life." All the while, I was posting my own pictures pretending to be someone I wasn't. I was wearing a mask every single day, hiding the pain that constantly weighed heavily on my shoulders like an anchor. I remind myself daily how important it is to be kind to everyone, because you never know what someone is going through. You never know what mask someone else is wearing or what their own smile is trying to conceal. Everyone has their own story, their own cracks in the foundation that make them who they are. I'm so much more aware of this now.

3. I Value Self-Care

In my darkest times, depression was a constant voice in my head convincing me I didn't deserve anything truly good in my life. This meant I denied myself anything that gave me joy. I berated myself for gaining weight and being "ugly" and treated my body with complete disregard. I felt like I was bound to fail at anything I did, so I didn't attempt to do the things I actually loved, like writing. I felt had no value and therefore stopped worrying about my own well-being. I turned to unhealthy coping mechanisms in an effort to distract me from the pain, which caused more pain.
When I finally began therapy and the process of healing, I started to understand how integral self-care is to my mental health. For me, my definition of self-care is simple: anything that fills up my soul. When I have what I refer to as a "sad day," which still happens, I immediately turn to something that gives me that sense of joy or that I know is good for my mind and my body. Maybe I'll run a hot bath, read a book, write, cuddle my pets, watch a movie, make a green smoothie, do some yoga, drink red wine — something, anything, that reminds me I am worth caring for.

4. I Trust My Inner Strength

Depression made me question a whole lot about myself and who I was. This past year, when it was the most severe it has ever been, I was terrified I didn't have the strength to endure it. Every single day, I felt depression's provocation — taunting me, urging me to just give in. In those moments of vulnerability, though, I managed to find clarity. I knew I wanted to keep going; I knew I wanted to fight with every ounce of resilience I had. And I did. Some days I'm still fighting it, but I've never been more confident in my strength.

5. It Gave Me a Purpose

As a part of my treatment, I participated in group therapy with other people who suffer from mental health issues. It was there, in a room with 20 strangers, I realized I wasn't alone anymore. Everyone's story had the same theme — depression made them feel isolated, like they were trapped in a cage with everyone else looking in with pitying eyes, but never truly knowing what it's like to be in that cage. Hearing my exact thoughts and anxieties vocalized by other people from all different walks of life was earth-shattering. I finally thought to myself, "It's not just me."
The sense of community I felt was honestly what got me through. I feel like it's my purpose to talk about mental health to anyone who is willing to listen. When I think of the immense guilt, shame, and loneliness people suffering from depression feel, it breaks my heart. I've lived it and I want those living it to know that none of what depression tells you is true. I know I'm only one person and I can't end the stigma of mental illness, but at least I can open the dialogue.
I could choose not to think about my lowest lows, because it was really painful and it was really hard, but I don't. Instead, I choose to look at depression like this diabolical villain who tried to destroy me and myself, the victorious superhero. It was an epic battle and there were many times I thought I had been foiled. Depression made me fight with everything I had. Sure, I have some scars and some tough memories, but in my book, it was worth it. The wisdom and experience I've gained and, hopefully, the insights I'm able to share are invaluable. I'm proud of the person I am as a result of depression, and that makes me the real champion.

8 Easy Ways to Instantly Boost Your Self-Confidence

8 Easy Ways to Instantly Boost Your Self-Confidence

Self-doubt weighing you down? Don't worry; we've all been there before and can understand how frustrating those thoughts can be. But the good news is you don't have to continue walking under rain clouds of negativity. Despite contrary belief, self-confidence is a skill set rather than a character trait. And it's one you can easily teach yourself!
So forget the notion that confidence is something people are born with. If you're seeking to boost your self-esteem, below are eight quick actions you can take to become more confident ASAP.

1. Sit up straight.
Once again, Mom was right. According to research, sitting with good posture will not only lead to more confident, positive thoughts, but it will also increase your overall mood. So the next time you find yourself slumping or slouching, remember your mom's advice: roll back those shoulders, open up your chest, and sit up tall.

2. Get caffeinated.
Lover of lattes or all things coffee? Well you're in luck, as caffeine has been proven to increase energy, alertness, and yes, even confidence. So go ahead; guzzle down that extra cup of joe.

3. Break a sweat.
We all know exercising is good for your physical well-being, but did you know working out on a regular basis can work wonders on your mental health, too? Studies have shown breaking even the slightest of sweats can lead to more confidence, not to mention less stress.

4. Spritz on your favorite fragrance.
Need another excuse to splurge on your favorite fragrance? Fragrance expert and founder of Note Fragrances Danielle Fleming states that aromas play a huge part in how you feel and can instantly elicit a range of emotions, including feeling more relaxed, happy, and confident.

5. Visualize greatness.
If you're in a time crunch but need a quick confidence-booster, consider simply closing your eyes and calling upon your imagination. Prep your mind for mental success by picturing yourself conquering a personal goal. Remember the power of visualization: seeing is believing. The more you visualize achievement, the more you'll come to expect success, and this mindset can only lead to greater feelings of self-assurance.

6. Jam out.
Not only can listening to upbeat music instantly uplift your mood, but turning up the tunes can also make you feel more powerful. And who doesn't love a good jam session?

7. Wear a smile.
Don't hide those pearly whites from the world any longer. Instead, showcase them for all to see by wearing a smile. In doing so, you will appear both confident and composed, and trust me, people will take notice. But don't just think smiling only has external effects. Research shows smiling can shed internal signs of stress, making you feel happier and more relaxed.

8. Be your own cheerleader.
And finally, don't forget to cheer yourself on. Talk to yourself. Think positive thoughts. Utilize the power of self-affirmations and focus on the good. What makes you you? Look yourself in the mirror and tell that person you see how awesome YOU are. Post sticky notes around your home to remind yourself, too, because the more often you practice self-kindness, the faster you will believe it!

dear my boys

i just want u to know am trying my best really trying to keep up with him and how am i gonna keep watching him hitting both of u and do nothing


am bk
i just wanna write something which how knows me know it
am i just going with his flow
apologizing all the time to him for things that he do
like hitting me i apologize for saying something stupid makes him so angry that he start by shouting and if i wanted to explain my self he start slapping punishing me on the face banging my head to the walls
he use to say sorry and kiss me
now no
just go fuck Ur self bitch

Study Says It's The Cuddling, More Than the Sex, That Makes You Happy

Study Says It's The Cuddling, More Than the Sex, That Makes You Happy

A new study reveals that it's the affection we get from our partners—and not the act of sex itself—that makes us happier.
Here's something most women probably could have told you: post-coital cuddling makes people happier than sex. And that's according to science—or at least a new compilation of studies published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.Previous studies have shown a correlation between sex and increased well-being, but study co-author Anik Debrot says that's because having sex promotes the experience of affection.
"Sex seems not only beneficial because of its physiological or hedonic effects," she writes, "but because it promotes a stronger and more positive connection with the partner."

The new research is made up of four studies. In the first two, researchers evaluated the correlation between sex and happiness by conducting surveys of hundreds of men and women in romantic relationships. Both confirmed that having more sex leads to increased positivity and life satisfaction. But they also revealed that that satisfaction was dependent on the use of affectionate touching like hugging, kissing, and cuddling.
For the third and fourth studies, the researchers asked more than 100 couples to record in a diary when they had sex, when affection was shown, and what their mood was for 10 days. The results? The more sex a couple had during that 10-day period, the higher their relationship satisfaction was six months later—as long as they had also gotten lots of TLC.

"Our findings suggest that it's important to maintain an intimate connection with your partner," explained co-researcher Amy Muise. "But you don't need to have sex every day as long as you're maintaining that connection."

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